T-I-R-E-D....What's that spell? Hell.

Hey.

It's getting better, my blogging posts are getting closer together instead of further apart.  Kudos to me.  Wee.

Ever feel like you're trying to take 20 steps forward and taking 100 steps backwards?  Yep.  That's my life right now, well at least that's how it feels. We're back on the "yo-yo-yo your body is out of whack again" bullshit.  All I know is...

Legitimately. T-I-R-E-D.  Sigh.

Yup.  Yesterday I had my own pity-party.  Talked to my s.i.l, husband and mom.  I got 3 different perspectives on what's going on but the message from them all was:

"You're going to be fine.  You're strong and people need you.  The steps you're taking are going to make you better in the long run."

Fantastic words of wisdom.  Literal.  I know eventually things will be ok.  It just blows when you're doing all you can and it doesn't seem like it's enough.

Ok, here's the run-down.

The last three months I've been dealing with some "stomach" issues. Let's just say having the flu a few weeks ago didn't help either. 

It doesn't matter what I eat.  If I cut out "dairy" "gluten", etc.  It's there.  It's absolutely embarrassing and been uncontrollable. I was able to exercise for a few weeks before the flu but now I'm not able to so I feel like I'm wasting my money.

So now we move on to specialists...a gastroenterologist to be exact.  Hope I spelled that shit right, if not...oh well, it must be a hazard of the job.  ;)

Now we move forward with blood work, "samples" and some "scopes"...yup.  Front and back will be scheduled soon! The reason? My workup came back and I'm terribly deficient in B12 and Iron.

This has caused my sugar workup to skyrocket.  It's been level since before I was pregnant with Mary-Anne.  Within the span of 3 months it's gone up over 20 percent which is unreal.

Thanks to being deficient, my doc wants me to now see an endocronologist on top of the gastroenterologist and her.  Fucking ridiculous.  People, I've literally had water, soup, fresh veggie/fruit juice, some gluten free pasta and some bread...for weeks at a time.  There is NO WAY IN HELL that my sugar spikes have been from shitty eating.

After doing research, it's been determined that I'm not absorbing vitamins and minerals like a normal regular person.  They're just running right through me.  Which causes the imbalance.

Bring on the vitamins.  Bring on the pills.  I feel like hell.  I'm tired and still fucking whining.  Shit.

Ok.  Thanks everyone for letting me get that out.  It's pure therapy for me to write and get stuff out.  For me, being candid it's a calm for me.  Doc also wants me back on my anxiety meds again.  Still thinking about that one.

So we start the "kicking-ass" part again.  My amazing family is what keeps me going.  All I have to do is look at these two:

Doesn't that just give you the warm feels?  It sure the hell does for me.  These two are my life.  My loves.  My world.  I'll go through hell and ride through the highest fucking water for them.  So, I'll do whatever it takes.  However long it takes to be the best I can for them.  Always.

Again, thanks everyone for letting me whine like a little bitch on here today.

You're the best.