Can't believe it took this long to figure out...

This blog's going to be a quick one.  I've got a sick girl on my hands and she's very clingy for mommy.  She's got herself a little cold with some congestion and a very runny nose. I feel so bad for her; she's getting plenty of food, she can't drink her bottles that well b/c she's so stuffy she can't breathe...baby vapor rub on the chest, a cool humidifier in the room and plenty of cuddling.  :(  She'll sit with her dad for a bit, but won't go to sleep and she's in desperate need of plenty of that so she can get herself well.

With that being said, I haven't been to the gym in two days.  On top of a sick baby, the roads out here have been horseshit; snowy and icy.  The gym is not worth my life if some dumb-ass decides to t-bone me or rear end me because they can't figure out how to drive in shitty weather.  It made me start to feel bad, because I'm REALLY getting into going.  I LIKE how I feel when I sweat and meet a goal.  My one week trial is up on Monday and I'm definitely going to join for the next year.  When I started to get down this afternoon about not going to the gym, this little voice inside of me said...."Ginny, you need to shut the fuck up.  You KNOW why you can't go.  You aren't sitting here being a lazy fuck, you're busy.  You're a mom and a wife and that's a top priority."  It's the truth.  I am taking care of myself by not eating shitty, and yes, I haven't been to the gym but it's not the end of the world and it isn't a reason to make myself feel bad.  Why?  What good does it do?  

Are we programmed to feel like shit if we don't set out to do what it is that we "plan" on doing even if life gets in the way?  Why do we constantly rationalize our behavior by blaming ourselves and getting upset? 

THAT quote is spot on.  LEGIT. 

As long as I'm not rationalizing negative behavior and reinforcing it within myself or self-indulging in things that do not serve a good purpose for me, I think it'll be ok.  

I'm a bit pissed it took me almost 39 years to figure it out.  But again, when an epiphany hit you, who are you to question it?

Ok, my girl is whiny and won't sleep for her dad so I gots to go.  

I'll write soon.  Thanks for reading.